Wednesday, August 15, 2007

The Cecil

The Ten of Spades has been many things, even a movie. It has also appeared such as like:

or even like:

but usually looks something like:


But that is not how we see it as Spades Marathon. We see it thusly:


Not a lot is really known about Chuck Cecil. Some speculate he grew up in an orphanage in the wilds of Southern Alaska near the Canadian border, or perhaps it was near the Alaskan border. It is not definitively known, but has been gathered from this statement he made after a play-off game victory:

"Sister Anne-of-the-Woods back at Virgin Fields of the Blessed Miracle would have been happy with the hit I made on Aikman. I just want to let everybody in Whitehorse know, because they're in Whitehorse now after that storm back in '81, that I thought of ol' John Tucker when I made that hit." Cecil laughed after that and ran off to join his team in celebration.

What is known about Chuck Cecil is that he could hit, and at some point, a then little-known coach on the sandlots of Arizona happened to see a scrawny undersized kid make a hit he'll never forget. Mike Ditka had this to say,

"I had left an interview with Long Flats High School just outside of Phoenix and was walking by this sandlot and saw a semi-pro football game going on between a factory team and a trucking line. Most of the guys were scarred lumps of muscle who'd been working the night shift since the Christmas before their friends graduated high school or had been driving from their daddy's knee way back, there was blood on the sand everywhere. Rocks littered the field like mines, and in the middle of it all was this kid who just didn't belong. He was everywhere, fast, instinctive and as hard as any of them, but without that look in the eyes. You know, that thousand yard, too many bad cups of coffee stare you see sometimes on the highway or the docks. His eyes had a look of joy and there was a play, a pitchout to this short, squat but quick trucker, I think they called him Bo, anyway, suddenly this kid jumps over a double team. Jumps it, and with his bare head leading, just crunches into the guy. It was skull on skull and the back just crumpled. The ball skidded on the Phoenix grit and Cecil, this kid, without pausing, picked it up, stiff-armed a trucker flying at him so that the guy fell like a shot duck, and sprinted otherwise untouched into the end zone. It was the most amazing thing I ever saw on a football field. I asked a guy who this was, he said he didn't rightly know. Kid had come off the Plains one day looking for a job, said he'd do anything and ran a pressing machine and sometimes filled in for the janitor. Everybody liked him, they called him "Tooth" because he'd ripped out one of his back molars on a dare first week on the job over at the Greasy Can, the local bar. I called a friend, the tight ends coach at Arizona and then convinced the kid he had a future. Never forgot him."

Ditka would of course rise to a position where he was able to have his own line of playing cards, and did honor to that sandlot legend of Phoenix, Arizona by way of the wilds of deepest North, by making him the ten of spades.

Chuck Cecil, was the perfect choice to be the ten of spades: a silent assassin biding its time until the Kings and Queens have run about the board, usually making its appearance late to slay an opponent, as it has done many times throughout Spades Marathon. No card is more desired - after all, the Ace is only death, the Cecil is Pain.

Chuck Cecil is now married to a writer in Nashville, Tennessee and attends charity golf outings. But occasionally friends still see the old Chuck come out.

"Yeah, Tooth still comes out to play," old friend and one time workmate, Steve "Stev-o" Forks says, "we were walking through some backwoods once and heard dogs fighting. Tooth loves dogs. There were some assholes running a dog-fighting ring there and Tooth walks in there and rips these guys apart, and frees the dogs. Well they [the dogs] come tearing out at us, I'm serious, I climbed a tree yelling at Tooth 'why you gotta be so crazy,' 'you and your damned conscious!' But he just knelt down, holding out his hands, like for communion? And started speaking some crazy gobbly-gook I never heard before and the dogs just calmed. They started licking his hands and followed him after he slowly stood up. He never stopped speaking that stuff and it was so soft I almost felt sleepy. He looked up at me, and kind of smiled, 'come on down Stev-O, their time of being caged is over. Like mine was, thanks to Sister Anne.'

"One of them dogs is a seeing-eye dog now and two others are in this orphanage he helps out, the dogs help the new kids adapt. I asked him what he spoke and he said it was a branch of Inuit or something like that. He said the real language is from Siberia. That's the weird thing about Tooth, you think he's just one of the guys, but he's smart. He named one of the orphanage dogs Stev-O and starts laughing every time he brings that dog up, he's saying that's the one that chased me up a tree! The seeing-eye dog he named Sister Anne. He doesn't forget his roots. Any of them."

Chuck Cecil: the ten of spades. There is not higher praise for football player or playing card.

A Bird's Eye View of Things


From my vantage point I observe friendly parlance between opposing forces, Zakkas T. of the Polish/African Remix and Adam "Special" K. of the Moshdawgs...shortly after this picture was taken the Polish/African Remix were in for a surprise. I was not part of the "Club" and killed an ace. The come-back was on!

Moshdawgs are noted come-back artists and you can't just wound a Moshdawg, you must kill it, or lose all yourself.

When will the Giants of Spades collide again? Will it be the autumn, with its sweet smell of ferment and brisk afternoons and chilly nights? Or will it be the hush of winter?

Best it be soon.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Other rule changes

Didn't we have other rules we wanted to change? Please post here.

Sparking Some Controversy

Someone we know, let's call him Mason Hat Wearer, suggested an end to the minimum bid rule. Why? Well, because of our brilliant invention, the "double your bid and you lose 100 points, triple your bid and you lose the game" rule, which will subsequently be noted as the Larry rule. Well, I don't know if the triple your bid part is official or not, but the double certainly is.

Anyway, according to the MHW, or Joe Bob, the Larry rule penalizes you for underbidding, so why not bid one? Or two? Or three? When Sarge finally gets 4 to go with Corporal's 6, and the Remix is against the wall once again, why shouldn't they be able to go three or less? Especially when their highest card is a Jack and they both made the "pass the spade" motion to each other.

I find Joe Bob's argument to be perfectly logical, and the reasons for remaining with our current rules purely emotional. Therefore, I propose that for series 3 onward, the minimum bid law (for nils and non-nils) be abolished. C'mon boys. We got rid of the Blind 6 coz it was far too easy to make sense. Let's make the correct decision once more.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

This is how they make up after an argument on whether he should have thrown the diamond or he should have started leading spades...

Damn, I'm Good!

More horsin around during the Marathon session in Arlington Heights, circa 2000. Some Jackass took the picture.

Zakkus Triumphus

Zakkus, the Polish half of the remix, shows his game face to the camera during a marathon session in Arlington Heights, in about the year 2000. Then, as now, the Indians dominate the life of this unabomber look-a-like. His African partner challenged him to travel more after discovering early in college life that he had been to more countries than the number of states the Zakkus had visited. Now the Zakkus has visited many states, including Canada, mostly following the Indians. Well, that and college bowl.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

A Cool Customer!


Mosh Dawg Adam Kovac Keeps His Cool. His Rock Solid Play and Cucumber Demeanor Are One of the Big Reasons the Mosh Dawgs Lead in the Second Tournament of 100.

Fun Facts: Adam is a seasoned actor, having taken lead and prominent roles in productions of the Rocky Horror Picture Show, Arsenic and Old Lace, The Sound of Music and A Good Day for Dying: One Commando's Memories of Africa. His favorite card is the Queen of Spades, or as he calls her, "The Dark Mistress."

Photo Taken in Columbus, Ohio, Memorial Day Weekend, 2007.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

How many shuffles?

According to this, seven, but you already knew that. I do the overhand shuffle, which requires 2500 shuffles to ensure randomness. Next time, I'll try and remember to bring the automatic shuffler with me. Yes, I have one...

From Briggsy

Marvelous properties

The economist Paul Romer notes the astonishing fact that if you thoroughly shuffle a deck of 52 cards, chances are practically 100 percent that the resulting arrangement of cards has never before existed.

Never.

Each time you shuffle a deck, you produce an arrangement of cards that exists for the first and only time in history. The arithmetic works that way. For a very small number of items, the number of possible arrangements -- which item is first, which item is second, which is third, and so on -- is small. Three items, for example, can be arranged only six different ways. But the number of possible arrangements grows very large very quickly. The number of ways to arrange five items is 120. For 10 items it's 3,628,800. For 15 items it's 1,307,674,368,000. The number of different ways to arrange 52 items is 8.066 times 10 to the 67th power.

This number is so enormous that no human can comprehend it. By way of comparison, the number of ways to arrange a mere 20 items is 2,432,902,008,176,640,000 -- a number larger than the number of seconds that elapse in the course of 10 billion years. And this number is microscopic compared to 8.066 times 10 to the 67th power.

Despite all this, Sarge continues to complain that he sees the same crappy hand time after time after time...

Saturday, July 14, 2007

With Apologies to Johnnie Ass


Let the...

Plotting...

Florian? No matter. They are doomed to lose...

Zakkus Agonistes


Moshdawgs again back Zak into a corner...Memorial Day Tournament, 2007

Friday, July 13, 2007

What would you have bid?


A typical hand of mine during the last Spades Marathon gathering in Columbus, Ohio.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

What happened to this blog?

I'm so bored I have to start posting on the lattice!

Thursday, June 7, 2007

Could've been worse, Fung...



You guys could've been "The Olympics"...

Spades Stats, Take 1

Click on the image for a better view...

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Found: The Official Seals of the Opponents!

Was perusing some old and mottled scoresheets from back in the day and found the sketches we drew up...Zak's idea of the Moshdawgs and Fung's idea of the Polish/African Remix were great!



Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Corporal's Idea

Transcript from an SMS war between Sarge & Fungster on 5/25/07, the day the series resumed:

Sarge: Ready 4 your beatdown? MOSHDAWGS!!!!!
Sarge: Get ready.
Sarge: Chuck Cecil looking to rumble...but where's the ace? Moshdawgs got the Ace! polish/african remix on the ropes!
Fungster: Don't u have 2 teach or something
Sarge: Teaching right now...teaching Asskickin' 101. Lesson today in Spades Whuppin'...
Fungster: Its gonna b so great when we go up 2-0. I will lick the tears off ur face with glee!
Sarge: Yeah? Im a gonna hold u 2 it! Might lose the first 2 on purpose then go on a 7-0 run 4 bedtime...
Sarge: Lick...lick the ace of spades that DEFEATS you... lick the Chuck Cecil that twists the knife... lick the nil six that despairs you. lick the Moshdawg whip.
Fungster: First Chuck gets taken out by the ace, then he twists the knife? I won't fall for your scare tactics. They're as hollow as Cubs relief pitching
Fungster: NYT - At least give Giambi some credit. ?!? That's like giving the Moshdawgs credit for anything they did in Series 1!
Sarge: Practice my boy...mere practice...
Fungster(minutes b4 Sarge's plane was due to take off): Can't turn back now - fly on & accept ur arse whoopin lika man
Sarge: U tryin' to psyche yerself up?
Fungster: just making sure you're prepared for the beatdown
Fungster: On the plane, dreaming of how we're gonna tear u limb from limb. Adam's already cowering like a puppy!
(Corporal makes whimpering noises in the background. He knows what's coming...)

Monday, June 4, 2007

Stat Issues

I'm having a hard time formatting the stats so they appear properly in a post - is there a way to have a spot to attach something that isn't an image Sarge? I suppose I could convert the stat page into an image, that may work as well.

Sunday, June 3, 2007

My favorite picture of the tournament so far...


The Fungster, taking a beat-down, Memorial Day Weekend, 2006: Chicago - Moshdawg Cpl.'s apartment...

Pre-Game Trash Vol.1

> >>-----Original Message-----
> >>From: Corporal
> >>Subject: 2007
> >>
> >>Knights of the Spades-Table,
> >>
> >>The snow continues to fall here in Chicago. One's thoughts turn to
>indoor
> >>activities. One's thoughts turn to the greatest of all games.
> >>
> >>Let us play spades.
> >>
> >>My patient has just arrived. I must go. But think of a weekend when
>you
> >>are free to come to Chicago. Soon. Please. Let us play, and the best
> >>team
> >>
> >>win.
> >>
> > Corporal
>


> >>From: Fungster
> >>Subject: RE: 2007
> >>Date: Wed, 7 Mar 2007 10:58:35 -0600
> >>
> >>Moshdawg Killa here,
> >>
> >>I spoke to the doctor & the bureaucrat, who opined about meeting on the
> >>holiday of remembrance. I then talked to the Teacher, who mentioned
>that
> >>he'd rather take a day off on a non-descript weekend to deal it up. One
> >>of
> >>the late April weekends came to mind (April 21, 28), or the first
>weekend
> >>in
> >>May. For the Killa, the first weekend in May won't work - the boss lady
> >>is
> >>going down to Van Diemen's land (well, the big island next to it anyway)
> >>so
> >>I will have to be here then. The April weekends work for me, I can take

>a
> >>day or two or however many off, just need to know ahead of time.
>Discuss.



> >From: Corporal
> >Subject: RE: 2007
> >Date: Tue, 13 Mar 2007 08:40:01 -0500
> >
> >Yo! When you guys want to play, I can try to use my last remaining
> >vacation day. Just let me know.
> >
> >Cpl
> >
> >
> >>

>-----Original Message-----
>From: Sarge
>Subject: RE: 2007
>
>Hey -
>
>It might be best to just think about Memorial Day...I would be down with
>that and I think it might be easier for everybody - there's no confusion,
>it's a three day weekend, simple enough. We fly in Friday night - as early
>as possible - I will try and get a four or five o'clock flight...and then
>we
>
>play...and on Monday afternoon, we fly home.
>
>I'm totally down with that,
>
>peace,
>
>Sarge
>
>

>From: Fungster
>Subject: RE: 2007
>Date: Tue, 13 Mar 2007 12:41:17 -0500
>
>Flip-Flopper.
>
>Just remember, my birthday is that Saturday. So you will have to figure
>out
>how to worship me on that day.
>
>War,
>
>Killa.
>

-----Original Message-----
From: Sarge
Subject: via MOSHmail....

As we have seen, a will to be flexible is something undervalued, not just by

Fung, but Everybody who voted for George W. Bush, president of the United
States.

I'm down with worshipping dearest Fung on his birthday.

By WINNING 10 OF 12!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We'll give you two. One for this year, and one for all the other years of
your life. Because Moshdawgs, while they rip and tear and win spades-flesh
from their opponents, they sometimes leave the heart to beat it's last few
beats on some rocks somewhere on the tattered ground.

MOSHDAWGS MOSHDAWGS MOSHDAWGS MOSHDAWGS MOSHDAWGS MOSHDAWGS MOSHDAWGS

And if we want we can have some cake or something.

best,

Sarge




From: Funster
Subject: RE: via MOSHmail....

You'll be lucky to win 3 games. All weekend. If I remember I'll look up
what the score is & all that. The Remix needs all the motivation it can
get!

Worst,

K

p.s. You know, Moshdawgs.com is available. So you could totally be sending
email via Moshmail...
p.p.s. The President is infinitely flexible. In who he's attacking. Or
deciding to attack.


Thursday, May 31, 2007

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Welcome to Spades Marathon

The ace of spades is out there, ready to hunt. You hold a ten of diamonds, a king of spades and a five of hearts. You need two. Where to begin?

Desperation? Up against a wall?

In all probablity, if this is my hand in Columbus, Ohio this weekend, it was one of two spades I'd been dealt and no matter what I'd do next, it would be wrong.

And Zak would have the ace.